Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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