I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
