Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
