it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
