I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
