im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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