I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
