is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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