i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
