his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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