she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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