And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
