roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
