porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
