halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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