Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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