we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize