...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
