It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
