doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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