8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
