You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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