she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm really busy with my period
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