will power is for people who don't want to get laid
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
