i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
be right there i have to get my cape
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
