i'm signing you up for texting rehab
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
