oh god the rape fog is back!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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