You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
