We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
