I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
