I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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