tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
