so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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