Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
