I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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