You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
