I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
