Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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