Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize