i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
