i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
only if we run a train.
done.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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