Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Who died my cat blue again?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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