Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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