She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
