oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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