So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize