Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
