I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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