It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Randomize
