PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
