it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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