I think I died a long time ago.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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