But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
After last night, I could never be a politician.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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