Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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