Im at strip club and am horny
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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