DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
