he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just found puke in my bra..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
