I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
