Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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