absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We had to coat check the pizza.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize