screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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