i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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