If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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