yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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