I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
