Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
