Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
