I accidentally burped into my bong.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize