I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
