i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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