I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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