did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
