Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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