Only a mothe r could love this liver
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
