Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize