So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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