I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
