Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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