You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
